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Helping Teens Grieve Death of a Peer

Q. My wife and I have been married for 6 years, and I have always wanted to have a dog. I had a dog when I was single, but when we were going out, she and the dog didn't get along, and then she told me she is allergic to dogs. We have two young children, and I think a dog would be good for them also, but she thinks they might be allergic to the dog, and doesn't want a "dirty dog" in her house. Our marriage is happy, the kids are wonderful, but I feel something is still missing in my life, which is the happiness I get from a relationship with a dog. I feel like a part of my life is not complete. Do you think I should just get a dog and see how it works out?

A: Many people seem to have a basic need to connect with animals. In fact, studies have shown that having a pet makes a person healthier and happier. But sadly, there are often reasons why people who live in a family cannot have a pet live with them also. In your case, it's possible allergies, and your wife's aversion to having a "dirty dog". Surprising her with a dog may cause big, big problems. But there are thing you can do so you can get your "dog connection" and satisfy your need to connect with a pet.

Volunteer at a shelter. This offers an easy way to connect with animals, and the animals in shelters are in great need. There are cages to clean, dogs to walk, cats to play with. The downside is that you might get depressed seeing all the cages with unwanted dogs who may be sad and sick. So if that would bother you, volunteering at a shelter won't work for you.

Help somebody. Do you have a friend or a neighbor who travels and needs someone to take care of their dog while they are gone? Or a friend who isn't well and would love you to walk the dog during the week? The exercise will be good for the dog, and you, too.

Visit a dog park. You can drop by your local dog park and watch the dogs play. Many of these dog park are managed by volunteers, which would give you a chance to help out. It's a great way to be around dogs without the responsibility of owning one.

Become a dog walker. You can walk dogs as a hobby, or even as a job. Go to dogwalker.com to sign up and find "customers" in your area. This will give you the opportunity to spend quality time with dogs.

And if you really want to take that risk and see how bringing a dog into your family will work out, how about become a foster home for a dog. Many rescue shelters need foster homes, and you could try a short term fostering to see how having a dog in your home works out for everyone. But be sure to discuss this with your wife first. If you are lucky, the kids will love having a dog around, no one will be allergic, and it will convince your wife that dogs make wonderful family members.

Good luck. I hope some of these suggestions will help you get the dog-connection you are looking for,

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