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What Can I Do When My Friend is Mad at Me?
(and I don't know why!)

Q. My friend who is not a "best friend', but a friend a group of us do things with, has been cool towards me lately. The last time we all went out together, she hardly spoke to me, and didn't seem happy, and I don't think I did anything wrong for her to be mad at. When I tried to talk to her, she only gave me short answers, and then walked away. How do I know what I did wrong, and how can I fix it?

A: It can be very upsetting to think a friend is angry with you, and not be able to think about anything you did to make her mad. So consider this: maybe it's not about you, but something is going on with her.

When we see a friend acting differently to us, our defenses kick in, and and the first thing we sometimes think is "what did I do". But people often have a lot going on in their lives that they don't talk about, or even share with their friends.

The next time you see your friend, focus on her, not on yourself. Say something like "Hi, I haven't seen you to talk to in awhile. How are you doing?" If she's feeling like talking, tell her you miss her, and ask how things are going in her life.

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