Calm Spirit Counseling

Listening is a gift of love

Q:I asked my wife what she wants for Valentine's Day, and she told me that the best gift I could give her was to listen to her. What does she mean? She could make it easier on me, telling me what to buy her.

A: Yes, a gift you buy is easier! But it sounds like what she wants is your undivided attention and assurance that you are hearing what she's saying when she talks with you.

Listening to someone is a true gift of love. To really listen requires your complete attention and ability to understand what someone is telling you. It means that you encourage her to continue talking and asking her to explain what you don't understand. The "cherry on the top" is when you let her know you really heard her by putting what she said in your own words and saying it back to her, and that way you know if you really heard what she attempted to tell you.

We are busy, busy, busy and have lots of distractions, and that's why listening is a cherished gift, often more valuable than anything you can buy. If you practice listening every day, it will become easier, and will turn into a habit. Your relationship will become stronger and you will grow closer. That's something money can't buy.

I applaude you for asking, and hope this works out for you.

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